Keep It Classy Germany.

You know you're jealous your photo library doesn't include a picture of a cellphone walking in a parade drinking wine out of a clear solo cup with a straw.

I Don't Look Good In Stripes.

I've got to make a confession.

I am amazed that I do not have some kind of police record. Although every crime I may or may not have committed in my youth would be Class C misdemeanors, IF I had committed any, I shouldn't have been lucky enough to not get caught.

My driving record? I've got a couple of speeding tickets. But before I turned 21 I had been pulled over 15 times. 13 of those were for running the same stop sign. The SAME stop sign. Why was I never given a ticket? (I say that, and now I'm sure I will totally be getting a ticket the next time I drive to my dad's house.) I'm not saying I wish they had given me tickets. I'm just saying my luck has NEVER been that good since then.

As for my clean police record? Well, I'm willing to give that up. I would totally commit a felony for any of the following:

• Steak n Shake french fries and a vanilla water. (This has been down graded. A friend on Facebook commented she ate there, and then had an upset stomach. I'd go as high as a Class A misdemeanor.)
• A shopping trip to Target.
• A peanut butter smoothie from Jamba Juice.
• Milk that didn't cost $4.50 a gallon. (And actually came in one of those plastic milk jugs. Man I miss those!). 
• A place to live that is NOT up 3 flights of stairs. I'm not complaining, but I'm complaining.
• Wall to wall to wall to wall carpeting. Hardwood floors are of the devil.
• An oven that could actually hold my muffin tin, AND had temperature settings in a unit of measure I could understand. And that can cook a whole chicken in less than 2 1/2 hours. 
• Wendy's french fries and a Frosty. (Though, word on the sträße is we're getting a Wendy's sometime soon.)
• A shopping trip to Kohl's.
• A Container Store near me. Online shopping just isn't cutting it.
• An Old Navy near me. (See above)
• And plenty more things I won't think of until I hit publish and think "DUH! How did I forget THAT?!"

PSA ~ A Lesson In Etiquette

Do NOT mess with the people who prepare or handle your food.

Ever.

This applies even more, when you are acting like an obnoxious tourist rather than a transplanted American in a country where the locals don't speak English as a first language. Here? YOU are the foreigner. Not them. They are the ones rolling their eyes and making fun of you in a language you don't speak.

Tonight, I witnessed a lady throw TWO fits in less than 10 minutes over her order at a restaurant that serves the local fare. First, she swore up, down, left, right, backward, and forward that the last time she was there someone took the mushrooms AND the mushroom flavor out of the Schnitzel gravy.

Hang on. I'm sorry. They took out the FLAVOR of the mushrooms? I really want to know how they did that, and then I want to make sure that person gets a raise. A BIG raise. And a promotion. That's some mad culinary skills right there.

After she decided to just get a wiener Schnitzel which has NO gravy, she sat down and I got to order my food. The minute I paid for my order, she came back up to the counter with her sodas, informing the girl that there was something wrong with the Coke. She ranted for a minute that she knows what Coke tastes like and that was NOT Coke in her glass. The gal taste tested the soda, and said it tasted fine to her, which caused the lady to turn around and yell to her husband who was sitting down.

She said...
†
"This girl is trying to tell me I'm crazy, I know what Coke tastes like, and there's no way this is Coke. She's trying to tell me the Coke is fine."

Dear sweet, ignorant, apparently illiterate woman. You did NOT order Coke. You ordered COLA. They only serve "cola" here. And since the Coke here does taste different than the stuff you're used to in the States, you really don't know what you are talking about. Five people in the back came out to test the soda, and all deemed it "normal".

Our friend the whiner? She yelled at them all that she wasn't crazy.

I'm scared to think of the amount of spit that ended up in her Schnitzel.

A Castle and a Quote

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.  ~William Shakespeare

Random Photos From France

Day 26: Highlights

This month...

Is it sad that I'm checking Facebook to see what exciting things happened this month?

I was officially inducted into the Soccer Mom club. I had to bring snacks for after the game for the first time. I went with S'mores popcorn. (Popcorn, chocolate chips, mini mallows, and Golden Grahams.)

I stole a picture off of Facebook from my cousin. She's an amazing artist. I hate her. (Not because of her talent, but because she's prettier than I am.)

I changed the name of my daycare/preschool. 

I finally got the packet I needed in order to get my CDA, and promptly decided it was too much work to actually do. I gave up. Then I decided to act like a real, live grown up and actually do the work.

Zeph got glasses.

I almost fell off our 3rd floor balcony trying to hang Halloween lights. (This may or may not be a slight exaggeration.)

We went to the pumpkin patch.

And I will be closing out the month by running the Red Ribbon 5k. Which is fitting, since my mother was the Just Say No coordinator when I was young.

Day 24: Now I need to watch Armageddon...

Today's challenge post is "You're leaving on a jet plane. Where are you headed and why?"

Considering at this moment driving to England is a viable option, I would have to say if I am leaving on a jet plane, I am headed to the States. Which state, I don't know. 

I obviously would want to be going to Indiana to visit the relatives. It's been 16 months since we've seen family, and that's a record. I think 13 months is the longest we've gone without taking a trip to see the fam. And I hate that it's been that long since I've seen my BFFs. It makes me a sad panda. 

I also desperately want to go to Colorado. There will always be a big chunk of me that considers Colorado Springs home. Bits of my soul that can only be soothed by breathing in air void of oxygen and using Pike's Peak as a compass. (And the fact that most of very first friends I made as an adult are still there is a big selling point as well.)

And yet, given an option, I could head to Memphis or Miami. Places with amazing family I have yet to meet. Places full of relatives I really would love for my girls to get to know. 

Too many choices. Maybe I'll just drive to France for coffee instead...

Day 28: Things I Miss...

Okay, this is one of the easiest topics for me. Living in Europe is awesome, but there are many conveniences from the States that I miss like crazy.

• Target
• Chick fil a 
• Home Depot
• street signs written in English
• screen doors
• central heating
• air conditioning
• 7 digit telephone numbers
• American clothing sizes (I wear a Euro 38 which just seems wrong)
• stores being open on Sunday
• shopping malls
• calculating distances in miles instead of kilometers
• recycling because I want to, not because I'm forced to
• 110 electricity
• prices being the "same" instead of having to try and convert from dollars to euros
• only having one currency of money, and knowing most places will accept credit cards 
• being able to go to a website and not having it ask me what language I would like to view the page in
• TV that's not seasons behind or on Hulu

And I also miss only being a day's drive from family. And being almost on the same time as family. This 6-8 hour difference is tough to remember some days.

I"m sure there's more. We'll call this the short list. 

Day 13: This Week

Last week was busy.

On Sunday, I had extra kids so that one set of daycare parents could attend the Passion Play at Oberammergau. It occurs only every 10 years. One of those things where I could let a pesky thing like not having family in the country keep the parents from going. Once in a lifetime opportunity here.

Monday was work.

Tuesday was work. And a trip to Baumholder.

Wednesday I worked.

Thursday I worked. And I also turned 28. I opted not to make a big deal out of it this year. Kind of like how I really didn't have any Christmas spirit, I didn't really care about celebrating my birthday. Paulo also picked up our "new" car. A 2000 Dodge Intrepid. Can I tell you I feel like I'm driving a tank now? The thing is huge. Pretty sure it's just like driving a full sized van or some such.

Friday I worked. (Sensing a theme here?) We also got all of the Zeph's school clothes in the mail. She is going to be one of the cutest kindergarteners ever. I heart The Children's Place and Target.

Saturday I had extra kids again. This time so my friend Mandy and her hubby could go up to Europa Park to celebrate his birthday and act like kids without kids in tow.

Sunday, I was a suck-tastic friend and mom and forgot all about a movie date we had with scheduled with friends. Mostly because my brain was mush, and also because we stood in line for 25 minutes at the BX checking to see if the new sofa I want or the bunk beds we need were in stock. Neither were. (Insert sad face here.)

And while today SHOULD be starting a new week, it's really just ending my weekend, so I got to run to Toys R Us and get Zephina a Ken doll, to hold up my end of the "if you learn to tie your shoes before school starts, I'll finally buy you a Ken doll deal".

**Random fact: Blogger thinks I am writing posts in German, so if I hit the spell check button it tells me almost every single word is misspelled. Except for Baumholder and Oberammergau, which my computer thinks are spelled wrong. I can't win!

Day 10: What I Wore Today

Dark gray "modern MC Hammer" pants
White tee shirt
Orange flip flops

Day 6: My Day

My day went a little something like this.

0600 ~ Get up, dressed, mop the floor in the living room/playroom.
0630-1700 ~ Feed little kids, read books, wipe butts, blow noses, and play mediator for 4 children ranging in age from almost 2 to almost 6.
1700 ~ Run to the bank, check mail, get phone call about a car.
1800 ~ Drive 30 minutes to the Army base, look at car, make plans to purchase said car on Thursday.
1930 ~ Start driving home, get told by GPS to turn on an entrance ramp to the Autobahn that currently doesn't exist.
1956 ~ Start cursing at the GPS lady for telling us to "make a U-Turn where possible" for the 80th time.
2100 ~ Finally make it home, fix dinner, lock the kids in their room.
2300 ~ Write this post and go to bed.

Yum!

Last weekend we were the "token" white people at a Guam Liberation Day picnic.

I have since volunteered to ALWAYS be the "token" white girl, because this? This is deliciousness times infinity!

And Zoe approves of ANY meal where lumpia are involved!

I Love Euro-spec Cars...

I bet YOUR speedometer doesn't go up to 240...

This.

This is how I know that in a fight, my ice cream man would totally kick your ice cream man's ass.

I Heart Europe...

Want to know a secret? I buy a particular flavor of Capri-Sonne (translation: Capri Sun) for my kids just so I can drink most of them. Want to know what flavor it is? Go here. Also? Don't judge me. I know it sounds disgusting...

Wordless Wednesday ~ Punkins!

For more WW check out 5 Minutes for Mom and Wordless Wednesday!

Almost As Cool As Pirates...

One of the things people who traversed to Germany before always talk about are the Kinder Eggs. Banned in America by the FDA because they put a capsule in the middle of a chocolate egg. Federal law stipulates that non food items cannot be placed INSIDE food items. And after I learned this law, I realized that prizes aren't in cereal boxes anymore, and that that is probably why.

So Kinder Überraschung are not allowed to be sold in America. Which means we are eating our fair share of it while we are here! Each egg shaped chocolate has a small capsule inside it containing the Uberraschung (or surprise). Lately, our surprises have been tiny viking men. This is Torstein. He looks like he might be the village idiot. Here we have Vidar. He's got arm issues.

Together, and with Snoore (who plays a harp and is not pictured) they guard our DVDs.

Because really, miniscule vikings are TOTALLY going to keep someone from stealing our Stargate: SG1 collection...

You Capture ~ Autumn

Fall. Oh my favorite season. I love the smells, the sights, the FOOD. I love pulling out the hats and gloves to wear with my jeans and flip flops. Carving pumpkins, making soup. I knew there was ONE picture I had to capture for this theme.

This is our village from one of the back roads that lead to it. This view makes me think we live in a post card.

I love the empty field behind this sign. Being from a place where corn fields are abundant, empty fields are a sure sign of fall!

And the growing collection of jackets hanging by the door is indicative of cooler weather.

And when else but October can you paint your toenails like this, wear flip flops and people not think you are weird?! (Yes, those toes belong to myself and Big Z.)

You Capture is hosted each week by Beth at I Should Be Folding Laundry.

A Letter to the Oma

Dear Oma Next Door, Guten Tag! Sprecken sie Englisch? Nien? Gut, Nien sprecken Sie Deutsch! Tchuss! Sara See that lovely little letter up there? ^^^^ That is almost the full extent of my German vocabulary. It says "Good day. Do you speak English? No? Good, I don't speak German. Bye Bye! Sara" I have a few more words up my sleeve. None of which lead to any kind of conversation. Unless you want to know my favorite color. (Rosa, if you must know.) The only time I feel like a "tourist" around here is when the Oma next door tries to talk to me. After the "Hallo"s, I got nothing. So I spend all that time smiling and nodding. She could tell me off and I would have no idea. However, now that I think about it, it would be a perfect time to try the "What kind of thing can you get away with saying as long as you smile?" experiment...

My Favorite Thing Today...

The base we're at just recently opened a new "mall". Really it's just a giant BX/PX, a few novelty stores, and a big food court. One of the stores we got is of GREAT value to me, as a junk food consumer. It's a Haribo store. Oh Haribo and their superior gummies. My favorite gummy for years has been Happy Cola. Oh how I love the little chewy soda bottles. Even the girls know that Haribo are the best gummy. (Probably because they are in love with gummy frogs.) While at the Haribo store last week, I discovered something WONDERFUL. Giant.Happy.Cola. Isn't it the greatest thing you've seen in the last five minutes? I had to put the gummy frog in the picture for a size comparison. There better be a bunch of them in my stocking this year! (Ahem. Husband.)