Little Big Top Preschool For Future Felons...

Here at the Little Big Top Preschool for Future Felons, we want to prepare your little juvenile delinquent for their upcoming life of crime.

In order to do so, we make sure they learn to take fabulous mug shots, where they seem to appear sorry for the crime they have just committed. So that the jury cannot be influenced to believe they are not remorseful by an overzealous prosecutor.

We also teach the fine art of making sure that any potential witness isn't sure if they saw the crime being committed or not, thus leaving the prosecutor without damaging eye witness testimony.

And also how to carry out those pesky community service sentences. Learning to pick up trash on the side of the road is not a skill you are naturally born with...

And we teach them the ABCs and 123s, days of the week, and how to tell time so they can countdown the days until their next parole hearing.