Saturday, August 28, 2010

Day 22: What Upsets Me

Zephina was born in Mississippi. My pre-natal care began in Indiana. The crossover from the civilian records into military ones was what can really only be described as a disaster. Also? The records were tampered with. For the most ridiculous reason I could ever imagine. (I mean that as in, it wasn't a doctor mistake or the likes, since that is why most people tamper with records.)

It was the form for genetic testing. The one that gives permission to check for genetic abnormalities so that I could be presented with all of my "options".

My father and my sister are both mildly mentally handicapped. We do not know if this is genetic, so it is listed on my medical history. When I was given the form during my initial appointments with an amazing midwife in my hometown, I checked the box kindly denying any testing. While I can understand people wanting to know if their baby is going to be "perfect" or not, it really doesn't matter to me. "Healthy" and "normal" aren't interchangeable in my vocabulary.

When I went to my initial appointment in Mississippi, the check mark I had made was scribbled out, and "yes" was checked. If THAT wasn't enough to make me upset, the doctor I was meeting with called in a genetic counselor, to try and convince me that refusing these EXTREMELY optional tests with my "history" was not a good thing to do. And then? She realized that I was two weeks too pregnant to do them. Because if they found something wrong, I didn't have any "options". She tried to talk me into doing them anyway.

Okay. For A) I declined the testing, being FULLY informed of what they were for. It didn't really matter to me. I didn't care. I wasn't just saying no for the heck of it. For 2) Why are you going to sit there and try to talk me into something I clearly don't want to do? It's not as though I appear as though I might change my mind.

It upsets me when people think that THEIR way is the only way, and if you don't do it their way you are clearly a horrible person who knows nothing.

2 Thoughts on This:

Brat said...

Their Way vs. Your Way.

Because The Boy does things in a very strange way someone told me once that with him I must focus on the results, not the method. As in Don't watch while he washes a floor, just check and see if it's clean after.

That helps me a lot.

But when you are faced with what you mentioned, it really gets crazy. They must have already gotten paid for you to have that test and were trying to cover their asses.

Hey, it's possible.

Going to bed now.

Heather said...

Okay. This opens a whole 'nother can of things that upsets me. Because clearly people in the medical field have decided, even with ALL their supposed education, that you father and sister are not "normal" therefore you should have "options."


Now I am mad, and I am going to cry.