Monday, September 14, 2009

Another Dumb Blonde...

There is probably a special place in heaven for people like me. I imagine that this special place is covered by padding. Wall to wall and floor to ceiling. I will be the first to admit to my life being summed up in one very simple phrase I have on a piece of Flair on facebook. "My life is a series of blonde moments." While I know that there are more examples than I care to admit to, I am willing to share the most memorable and the most recent ones. When Paulo and I had been dating just a few short months, he was due to qualify on the M16. Knowing shooting was a part of the whole military thing, I didn't really ask a lot of questions. I just happily went along to visit his grandparents that weekend while he was doing his weekend warrior National Guard stuff. After he qualified (which is a funny story all on it's own) he was telling me about the M16 for some reason. I'm pretty sure I didn't ask. All I remember about this particular conversation is that he made the comment that the weapon was gas powered. And the only image my brain conjured up for this, was a kind of weed whacker/chain saw type motor that requires gas. Oh yes people, I am that smart! I thought you had to "start" the gun. And I didn't let on to this or ask for clarification until probably 2 years after the initial incident. I think the original reasoning behind not asking is that I didn't want Paulo to figure out I was really that dumb, and then by the time it didn't matter anymore I forgot that my idea of a "gas powered weapon" was probably way off target. When I finally asked, and it was explained to me that the gas is actually CO2, I was disappointed. Knowing it was basically blasts of air making the thing gas powered was NOT as fun as imagining there being a lawn mower-esque starter on the thing. The most recent "You are dumb" moment really just demonstrates my advanced stages of adult ADD. We started watching Stargate SG1 right after we moved into the house. I don't really like to watch movies all the time because they require sitting for so long. I'd rather watch a tv series that has commercial breaks, or at the very least are only 40 something minutes long. My attention span can be extended to 40 something minutes long. Recently, while watching an episode, I got onto IMDb and was looking at character biographies, the actors who played them and such. This was my thought process after the resolution of the current dilemma we were watching. (Just follow, you don't need a lot of details to figure out how dumb this was...) "Ohh, I thought it was going to be the Nocks or someone else." "The Nocks are the dumbest looking aliens we've seen so far." "At least the Asgard look like real aliens." "Oh yes, Michael Shanks is the voice of Thor!" "Daniel Jackson (Michael Shank's character) is awfully pretty to be an invisible alien." "That Jonas guy should be the invisible alien, he's pretty to look at, but he gets on my nerves." "I wonder who plays that Jonas guy..." "Ohh, his name is Corin." And at that thought my friends, I finished the chain of useless rambling thoughts with... "What ever happened to Jeff Corwin?" I tell you all that, to tell you this. If I wasn't so used to being an idiot, it might be disappointing to know that I am too stupid to understand the heaters in our house. which have pictures and numbers on them. There are pictographic instructions, and I am still cold with no idea what setting I need to remedy this situation. I will be asking Ilka to come over tomorrow and leave me detailed instructions, because I'm smart enough to know that I am an idiot.

2 Thoughts on This:

Brat said...

ROFL!

I love doing the IMDb thing whilst watching something on the teevee. But yeah, the mind works in funny ways, don't it? You don't even have to be blonde!

Aunt Becky said...

This is why we get along. You and I share a brain. I am not blonde, though. Maybe that would help if I were.