Little Big Top Preschool For Future Felons...

Here at the Little Big Top Preschool for Future Felons, we want to prepare your little juvenile delinquent for their upcoming life of crime.

In order to do so, we make sure they learn to take fabulous mug shots, where they seem to appear sorry for the crime they have just committed. So that the jury cannot be influenced to believe they are not remorseful by an overzealous prosecutor.

We also teach the fine art of making sure that any potential witness isn't sure if they saw the crime being committed or not, thus leaving the prosecutor without damaging eye witness testimony.

And also how to carry out those pesky community service sentences. Learning to pick up trash on the side of the road is not a skill you are naturally born with...

And we teach them the ABCs and 123s, days of the week, and how to tell time so they can countdown the days until their next parole hearing. 

Day 11: How Nice Of You to Ask...

My day was a little boring.

Some work. Some reading.

Some cold medicine. Some orange juice. Some Sprite.

I'm actually still working, because some people I know have really icky jobs who do things like make them work 12 hours shifts for no real reason. It stinks.

But dinner is cooking, and I don't have to go to the store tonight. So.

Yes. Today was lovely. Thanks for asking. Even though you really didn't.

Where I tell you I freaked out in front of small children...

I like to think I have the training, and ability to keep my cool under many different circumstances. Like, fire, injury, and Neil Patrick Harris sightings. I have current first aid training and am certified in Infant and Child CPR. Training wise, I am "prepared" enough to handle many things. 


A few weeks ago, the daycare kids and I headed out to the park. Normal, twice a day activity here. As we're walking down the stairs, Zoe stopped and said "Mommy! There was a bird right there!" 


I ignored her, thinking that this is our resident Captain Distract-o. Also? We were still in the building. No reason to believe there really WAS a bird in the stairwell. 
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I realized that I forgot something or other and we turned and went back upstairs. Guess what was on my welcome mat...


I may or may not have cried.


My daughter, being the jerk that she is, decided she would slip passed the bird, and then HOLD THE DOOR OPEN for the other kids to get inside. The only thing I could think at that moment was:


If that bird gets inside my house, I'm abandoning all of my things, and we're moving. Never setting foot in there again. 


I am almost as terrified of birds as I am of squirrels. Which is a LOT. 


To make the story even more "normal" for my life, I had to call six different places to find out who the RIGHT person to call was for this kind of thing. Turns out the military doesn't have a bird removal unit. 


I think they should get right on that though!

PSA ~ From Daycare Providers Everywhere

Parents of small children, please listen closely.

It IS possible to do TOO MUCH for your child.

Now, I'm not talking giving them the best of everything that you possibly can. I'm not talking about being too much of an advocate for your children. I'm talking about simple, basic life skills. Yes, I understand that sometimes it's easier to just put their jackets, shoes, pants, shirts on yourself. I get that. I really do. I understand you cleaning up every mess they make for them, because again, it's easier to do it yourself. What I don't think we realize as parents, is that this is NOT GOOD.

It is really okay for your 3 year old to wipe up his own spilled milk. It's completely okay for your 2 year old to try and put his own clothes on. It's okay for them to brush their own teeth. Self help skills are so important, I do not feel like I can thoroughly express it properly.

Please please please I'm begging you. Let your kids do things for themselves. It's not only important later in life, but it's REALLY GOOD for their self esteem.

This message brought to you by the letters Shut. and Up. Also, by the number Idon'tcareifhelookedatyoufunny.

Um, do you wanna see my ID?

It's senior picture time in the world of photography. Our local schools started last week, and informed the seniors that they have to have their pictures turned in by the 5th. So today, we had three separate appointments strictly for senior pictures.

The last two I shot, and the seniors in the pictures (both 17 year old boys) flirted with me. (One called out by his momma, who was in the room too!) I've not been "hit on" by people almost a full decade younger than me. Older yes, but not younger. I'm thinking of wearing a copy of my birth certificate like a name tag. It was weird. They were KIDS!

Do I really look that young? Honestly?

(Oh, and in pure Sara fashion I managed to tick off three people in under 2 minutes. Aren't you proud?!)