Boxers, Briefs, or Does it matter if they were free?

When the Paulo was deployed to Iraq many moons ago, we talked every day. Because we're incredibly spoiled, and he's the communications/internet guy. One day, during a phone conversation, he asked me to send him some new underwear, ASAP.

My initial thought was that maybe the ones he had taken with him were getting all sandy and gross and he just wanted some that might be a bit more comfortable.

Nope.

He needed new under-roos because his had been stolen from the washing machine. Just his unmentionables. Not his socks. Not his shorts. Not a thing was taken but the underwear. What perplexed me MOST though, is that they were stolen from the washer and not the dryer. Who steals things that are sopping wet? You can't just wisk them away and put them in your locker. You have to dry them and in my professional criminal opinion, makes it more likely to get caught.

The husband left a few days ago. In his duffel bag is this...

"In Case the Underwear Ninjas Strike Again"