I Don't Look Good In Stripes.

I've got to make a confession.

I am amazed that I do not have some kind of police record. Although every crime I may or may not have committed in my youth would be Class C misdemeanors, IF I had committed any, I shouldn't have been lucky enough to not get caught.

My driving record? I've got a couple of speeding tickets. But before I turned 21 I had been pulled over 15 times. 13 of those were for running the same stop sign. The SAME stop sign. Why was I never given a ticket? (I say that, and now I'm sure I will totally be getting a ticket the next time I drive to my dad's house.) I'm not saying I wish they had given me tickets. I'm just saying my luck has NEVER been that good since then.

As for my clean police record? Well, I'm willing to give that up. I would totally commit a felony for any of the following:

• Steak n Shake french fries and a vanilla water. (This has been down graded. A friend on Facebook commented she ate there, and then had an upset stomach. I'd go as high as a Class A misdemeanor.)
• A shopping trip to Target.
• A peanut butter smoothie from Jamba Juice.
• Milk that didn't cost $4.50 a gallon. (And actually came in one of those plastic milk jugs. Man I miss those!). 
• A place to live that is NOT up 3 flights of stairs. I'm not complaining, but I'm complaining.
• Wall to wall to wall to wall carpeting. Hardwood floors are of the devil.
• An oven that could actually hold my muffin tin, AND had temperature settings in a unit of measure I could understand. And that can cook a whole chicken in less than 2 1/2 hours. 
• Wendy's french fries and a Frosty. (Though, word on the sträße is we're getting a Wendy's sometime soon.)
• A shopping trip to Kohl's.
• A Container Store near me. Online shopping just isn't cutting it.
• An Old Navy near me. (See above)
• And plenty more things I won't think of until I hit publish and think "DUH! How did I forget THAT?!"