Where I tell you I freaked out in front of small children...

I like to think I have the training, and ability to keep my cool under many different circumstances. Like, fire, injury, and Neil Patrick Harris sightings. I have current first aid training and am certified in Infant and Child CPR. Training wise, I am "prepared" enough to handle many things. 


A few weeks ago, the daycare kids and I headed out to the park. Normal, twice a day activity here. As we're walking down the stairs, Zoe stopped and said "Mommy! There was a bird right there!" 


I ignored her, thinking that this is our resident Captain Distract-o. Also? We were still in the building. No reason to believe there really WAS a bird in the stairwell. 
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, I realized that I forgot something or other and we turned and went back upstairs. Guess what was on my welcome mat...


I may or may not have cried.


My daughter, being the jerk that she is, decided she would slip passed the bird, and then HOLD THE DOOR OPEN for the other kids to get inside. The only thing I could think at that moment was:


If that bird gets inside my house, I'm abandoning all of my things, and we're moving. Never setting foot in there again. 


I am almost as terrified of birds as I am of squirrels. Which is a LOT. 


To make the story even more "normal" for my life, I had to call six different places to find out who the RIGHT person to call was for this kind of thing. Turns out the military doesn't have a bird removal unit. 


I think they should get right on that though!