Monday, December 22, 2008

If I Did Half the Things They Say I Did...

Our chances for moving to Germany this Spring have gone from 100% to 89%. (Totally a random guesstimation on my part. It sounds like a good number!) The reason for this is a glitch in the orders. And we'll know more the first of the year. But I have an "idea" as to why this is happening. Before I was married, I used to party a lot. And if it were Summer, we partied in an empty lot owned by my best friend's family. Everyone always knew were we would be, and that there would be plenty of alcohol. (And you paid $5 a cup to drink what you wanted.) And by everyone, I even mean the people who we knew, but we didn't particularly care for. Johnny Wad is a sweet kid. He's just a little...different? We all know he's gay. He however, does not know this. (That we know of...) I never cared for him, nor did I pretend that I did. I was civil. Until one party in the empty field. And after many a drink. We were sitting in a car, listening to music..., and Johnny Wad came over and starting acting stupid. I in turn told him that we didn't know why he was there, no one liked him, and he should go away. (Later reports would say I cussed him out, and told him to die. I did not.) He was basically crying as he walked away. Mr. Wad now works at the Pentagon. Many aspects of my life, like the orders, are controlled by the Pentagon. This is not the first time he's messed with me. We had a tree in our old yard that was killing the grass. But we were accused of not taking car of it and letting it die. (It was under a pine tree) After a big blizzard, the tree split, and they removed half of it. We were issued "warnings" several times about the dead grass caused by the tree. Because it was obviously our fault. (The Pentagon has the say in whether landscaping can be altered on base.) Now that we don't live there, they have cut the tree down. Note to self: Do not make the dorks mad. They will one day have more power than yourself.

4 Thoughts on This:

Wings said...

I'm still baffled at your joke.

Ahhh. Dork wad. THAT was good.

Bratfink said...

This guy's real name is Dick Head, right?

Anonymous said...

Oh dear...

I never take orders seriously until we're on the frickin' airplane. :-)

Carey said...

you are too funny!

by the way...

help me!!! i'm in anderson.