Somedays, the only memories you’ll have are the happy ones.
Somedays, the only memories you’ll have are the sad ones.
Somedays, you won’t think about any of those memories and that will make you feel like a terrible person.
Occasionally, you’ll cry.
Occasionally you’ll laugh.
Occasionally you’ll wonder if you are supposed to be laughing yet.
From time to time, you might feel as though you’ve forgotten how to breathe.
Once in a while you’ll remind yourself that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.
Once in a while, you’ll realize you would have preferred for it to have killed you.
Grief is hard.
People say it gets easier. That you can work through it. That one day, it won’t be nearly as difficult as it seems today. What people forget to mention is that there is no timeline set in stone for it. We go on with our lives, despite wishing we could go back and freeze time. To a time without goodbyes. Without that empty seat at Thanksgiving dinner.
We move onward and upward waiting for that day we’ve been promised. The day that it’s easier. Some of us cope by throwing ourselves into our work, our homes, our hobbies. Some of us cope by talking with a friend, or a shrink. And some still, they cope by not coping at all.
The day we’re waiting for? That easy day? It will come. And the day after that day, may not be as easy, but there will be another good day after that. Many, many days where the pain seems to leave. Days we don’t feel as if the world is crashing in around us with no one around to help dig us out of the rubble.
And eventually, over an indefinite number of days, weeks, months and even years, the breezy carefree days will out number the bad ones ten fold. The days when you just want to lie in bed under the covers blocking out everything around you will be few, and far between.
Grief is hard, and yet I cannot think about it as something inherently bad. For me, I can’t help but think the amount of sorrow I feel over someone’s passing is in direct correlation with how much joy and love they added to my life. That, my friends, is the reminder we sometimes need in order to find the days that it’s going to get easier.