A Letter To Some Idiot...

Dear German dude who works at the commissary,

I am so proud of you for biking to work. I mean, you save yourself half a million dollars or so in gas since it's so expensive, and you don't pollute while doing so, which is saving the earth for my kids. I'm also glad you chose to work on base, and speak English fairly well. However, I did not appreciate your strip show in the middle of the parking lot this evening.

Now, I know today's weather was positively gorgeous, and at 7 pm it wasn't even remotely chilly, but that does not give you permission to remove your pants in front of God and everyone. Yes, I know you were wearing bike shorts underneath your pants. Yes, I know that it wasn't underwear, or heaven forbid your naked bum, but the visual image I had when I initially glanced your way is one I didn't ever want to have to imagine. No one should have to breathe a sigh of relief when they find out the tall, lanky dude who just checked out their groceries is not getting nekkid on the sidewalk.

Please, for the love of all things good and sacred, can you change "into" your riding shorts in the privacy of a bathroom stall? Please? For me?! That would be great. Otherwise, I'll have to tell the Internet on you. Again.

Much love!

~ Me ~